Faithful

Earlier tonight, Jeff and I took a look at our bank accounts (we still have one in Indiana) and saw our monies dwindling even further.  We have less than $1,000 and counting.  I've got one paycheck yet to be deposited, one on the way this week, and we have yet to file our taxes (which may only be about $2,000, if that).  I took a look at the job email from Emmanuel and there just aren't very many jobs on it that are in the Johnson City vicinity.  I am not quitting the Coalition (yet, but I'd like to not quit for a few years) because God's still doing awesome things for me there.  Jeff did turn in an application to Salsarita's when we were there earlier this evening, so that was good.  Tomorrow he's going to Carino's (whether or not he likes it) to apply.  I feel like I'm sliding back into that doubtful hole I spent a good two months in and I most certainly don't want to be there.  I'm going to spend some good time with God in fervent prayer over everything and let Him take it all.  It's all His anyway and I know He's the only One who can truly find us in this wonderful mess.  Please pray that I have Job's faith: no matter what the world, and even those I love, say, God is my one true love and He'll never leave me nor forsake me.  

I love you Papa, Jesus, and Sarayu.

Unshakable, Unchangeable, Unstoppable

I am so incredibly blessed and hardly deserve it. God's been so good to me and my family and He's doing us another great favor. I'm proud to announce that I have been given the opportunity to lead a program, through the Coalition and the Johnson City Housing Authority, at the JCHA! I seriously can't even begin to describe how excited I am about this. I knew (from the note "Convinced") that I was right where God wanted me when I applied to the Coalition. I'll admit that it's been a financially weary time since we've moved down here, but I'm not the least bit upset. I love my job more than I ever have of any other job. Sure, it gets frustrating and, sure, there are bad days, but the good and great days at work far outweigh anything else. I love the kids I've met and tutored and I'm so proud to be a part of a program that truly honors God in it's work. I can't wait to start getting things in order for this new opportunity. Please pray that God will move (as He has been within the JCHA) and that hearts will be open and accepting to what the Coalition has to offer. I'm bursting at the seams with this news because it's totally God's everlasting grace that put me in this position in the first place. As I told my boss, I want to climb one of the mountain peaks and just shout about how great my God truly is. He is unshakable, unchangeable, and unstoppable. Believe it.

"Twenty-six letters is all I got to tell You how I feel about You." - Ben Glover

Christmas vacation - Tennessee style

Now that the last family visit is over, it's time to recap how the vacation played out.

Jeff's parents came down the weekend before Christmas and stayed until the Tuesday before Christmas.  They spoiled Tyler like crazy with Christmas gifts!  I can't believe how many toys he got from them.  Seriously, the kid made out real well.  He also got some clothes from them and an awesome DoodlePro from aunt Erica (a.k.a. a MagneDoodle).  We mostly just hung out here at home, but we went out to eat a couple of times.  We watch a lot of movies with Jeff's parents and that's what we did :).  It was a nice and relaxing time!

Dad and Jody came down next.  They came down the weekend after Christmas.  They brought several gifts of clothes from my mamaw and papaw and my aunt Judy, but they saved the big stuff for last.  I already knew dad was making Tyler a toybox (because I gave him the dimensions), but I had no idea they were going to get him foot-powered army-camo four wheeler.  It's so cool!  The only problem with him riding it around here is that there are several small hills.  He's going to need a helmet!  I finally got the chance to show dad and Jody Laurel Fork Falls which was quite an interesting trip.  Poor dad...he had to carry Tyler 90% of the way, including down the incredibly steep and slippery rock staircase to the falls.  He was a trooper!  We went out to eat a couple of times with them and they left early the Monday after Christmas.

Last, but not least, was mom's visit.  We started off with a nice dinner at Carino's.  We then made a quick trip to Target to spend a little Christmas money.  We came out and mom got sick before we left the parking lot.  That started mom's sickness.  She was sick till about Saturday (she came down New Year's day).  In that time we didn't do much outside of hang out here.  I had to work Friday so mom and Jeff took turns watching Tyler while I was working.  We decided to try going out to eat again on Saturday and we went to O'Charley's (since mom works at one back in Indiana, she gets an employee discount to eat at one).  We all ate pretty heartily and it was gooood (I had the Buffalo kickin' chicken sandwich, which, I think, was the beginning of my problems).  I had worship practice Saturday night so I was out from 6 till 8:15ish.  I came home, snacked on some Chocolate Charlie and wine, then watched the Colts game (boo...).  Around 3:45 Sunday morning, I got sick and continued to get sick every 40 minutes until about 8:30am.  It was not cool.  I hadn't been that sick since high school when I had a stomach bug.  So Sunday I didn't do a thing except sit, sleep, and drink a 2-liter of Sprite.  Mom took Tyler to visit cousin Tony in North Carolina, and I so wanted to go, but I knew I'd be absolutely miserable.  It was nice for mom to take Ty with her because that gave Jeff time to focus on my needs as a sick girl.  I developed a fever Sunday afternoon and that was basically the rest of my sickness.  I had a training session at the Rock the next day (which I was late for :(  ) and still had a fever even then.  I was able to eat some mashed potatoes at Cootie Brown's, but that was it.  Monday night we went out to eat at Cracker Barrel and I was able to eat a salad and some soup.  Ugh.  I feel bad for mom seeing as she was sick first, but then had to deal with me being sick.  I think she still had a good time, though.  I hope she did, lol.  Oh, mom had already gotten Ty some clothes for Christmas, but she also bought him some new Dr. Seuss books and a new Curious George book :) .  I can always count on mom for books.

Vacation is officially over for me (Jeff doesn't have to go back to school until February) and it's time to get back to business.  I'll write about my transfer to Indian Trail tomorrow.

God is good :)

Convinced

My incredibly horrible Tuesday started off with Jeff and I fighting about my job/our money situation. It's the same fight we've had since I started working for the Coalition and it's the same fight we'll have till either he gets a job or something else comes up for me. The problem with that last part is this: just like anyone else I know in the Village, I've turned in, at least, 40 applications to places around Johnson City and have been turned down by each of them (or not called back, which is the same thing). To me, the Coalition is an incredible blessing. To Jeff, it's not making ends meet. Don't get me wrong: I've still been looking for a job that will help us out a bit more (if that means a full-time job, then I'll make time to volunteer at the Rock), but...there's a still-small voice inside of me that tells me I'm not done at the Coalition just yet and I believe it. I heard this voice once before, when I found out my parents were getting divorced, and chose to ignore it, only to be told the very next day (by my dad) that my parents were indeed getting divorced. I know this voice is God and I can't ignore it. If He's telling me that there's still work for me at the Coalition, then I'll work there as long as He needs me to. I have absolutely no problem with that. I love my job, love the kids I tutor, and I love all of my co-workers (even the ones I'm just now getting to know better). No, I don't make much money, but I know in my heart of hearts that this is where God wants me and, if that's the case, then I know He's blessing my family through the work I'm doing. This is one of those times when I'm actually glad I can't see the bigger picture because I'm so incredibly happy with the smaller picture. 

"If our minds are ruled by our desires, we will die. But if our minds are ruled by the Spirit, we will have life and peace." --Romans 8:6

Thankful

"I am thankful

that I'm incapable

of doing any

good on my own."

Thankful - Caedmon's Call

As most of you know, Jeff, Tyler, and I made the trip to Indiana last weekend to celebrate Thanksgiving with our families.  For me (I'm not sure about Jeff), the holidays are a bit bittersweet.  It's good to be with my families, but it's nice to be back home (a.k.a. Tennessee).  This Thanksgiving vacation, I had the special privilege of attending the baby shower of an old high school friend (for you Pendleton folk, Melissa Turner a.k.a. Melissa Blake).  I believe that Melissa and I hadn't seen each other since her high school graduation...that's a long time!  I was extremely glad to see her, in all her pregnant radiance, and to also see her sister, Angie, and Kristin Campbell (a.k.a. Monaghan).  The shower was fantastic, but that's, unfortunately, not the point of this post.  

After the shower, I had a nice 40 minute drive back to dad's house with plenty of time to think in between.  A couple of my favorite songs came on the radio which help spur my reminiscing.  Many of you don't know how I became a Christian so I'm going to share a bit about my transformation.  Before high school, my best friend was Andrea Taylor.  She was an awesome girl and we were thick as thieves.  Her parents were amazing and her dad was the pastor at the Methodist church in downtown Pendleton.  I obviously didn't know it then, but God was working on my heart through Andrea's friendship.  Andrea moved away after our freshman year of high school so I was a bit in between friends and didn't really have a "best" friend anymore.  

Freshman year, I decided to try out for the girls' soccer team.  I made it (luckily) and started creating some new friendships.  One of those friendships was with Julia Wilson.  Unfortunately for Julia, she's not the main character in this short story, but she was the catalyst.  Julia attended Southern Heights Christian Church (right?) in Anderson where Melissa's (yep, the girl from the beginning) dad was the youth pastor.  I remember going to the Blake's house (when they lived out in the country) and watching a couple of Christian movies, playing tag/hide-and-seek outside, spending the night, then going to Mounds Park the next day.  That was my first taste of youth group, and church really (my family isn't a religious one), and my introduction to the Blake family.

My second memorable youth group experience happened in the summer after my sophomore year.  I was dating Luke Nevins at the time and he was the catalyst this time.  The youth group was having a cookout at one of the youth staff's houses (I can't remember what the dinners were called..."home" something) and Luke asked me to go.  He forgot to mention that I'd be seeing about five fellow soccer teammates so I'd know more people than just Luke.  Pastor Eric's teaching was so inspiring, and relatable, that I made a conscious decision to go to youth group again after that night.  Well, seeing as most high school relationships don't last long, Luke and I broke up shortly after that.  By this time, though, I was already attending Sunday morning service at Markleville North Christian Church.  What kept me at the church wasn't just my friends (Sara, Jen, Laura, Emily, Stacey, Kari, Ashley H...); it was my curiosity to learn more about what Mr. Blake and Pastor Eric were talking about.  

God always has a plan.  You may not know what it is at the moment, or you might not even like it, but He knows what He's doing.  This Thanksgiving I thank God for each one of you who made even the smallest of differences in my beginning years as a Christian.  I pray that He blesses you greatly during this holiday season.  

Haunted (Part 2)

"We suffer primarily not from our vices or our weaknesses, but from our illusions.  We are haunted, not by reality, but by those images we have put in their place."  

--Daniel J. Boorstin

When I was 6, my family moved into an old two-story house in the Wilson family's hometown of Ingalls.  It was a large house with a basement that expanded the length of the house underground.  The house had old books and trinkets left behind by the old couple that used to live there.  I found that much fascinating because they were things I could treasure.  What I couldn't truly treasure were the things I found in the basement (which included an antique film camera).  I was so afraid that ghosts lived in the shadows of that basement that, if I did venture down there, I only stayed in lit areas.  To this day, I'm still a bit frightened by the idea of having a ghost dwell in my living space.  I realized just last night, though, that a ghost (or rather a few ghosts) do dwell in my living space because I allow them.  My past is riddled with ghosts that I let haunt and torture me.  Most of them small enough to pass over, but a few that stand in my face and scream at me.  Yesterday, I decided to come face to face with one of these ghosts and shoot a shotgun shell full of salt at it (thank Supernatural for that one).  Though I know the ghost hasn't been completely vanquished, I know I did it a world of hurt.  I didn't do it on my own, though.  I know that God did the majority of the work and I am immensely thankful for that.  God has the ultimate authority over my ghosts and without Him, I'd be an absolute lost cause.  

Quick Update

For those of you that have been following my job hunting/finding progress, I'd like you to know that I decided to quit Lifetouch.  I hadn't truly started working there yet, but something keeps telling me that it wasn't the right choice.  I also feel like it will become more of a financial strain rather than a financial gain (I'd get paid to drive to and from the schools, but not to and from work, which is an additional 60 minutes total).  With that, I'm back on the market for another job.  I've got an interview with Sears on Saturday and I've been a bit more careful this time around in choosing which jobs are actually legit and which aren't.  Please pray that my interview with Sears goes well Saturday morning!

As for the job I'm actually working, it's going great!  I absolutely love my kids, even if they like to argue about not doing their homework.  For the first week, I was a floating tutor, which meant that I helped whoever needed it.  Recently, though, we had a staff member quit so I'm now tutoring 4th and 5th graders, which also happens to be the largest grade group (15 kids total).  It's been a real patience test, but I'm doing really well with it so far.  I think my 5 years of dealing with drunk 40-somethings acting like 12 year olds is paying off ;) .  

Tyler did two things today: he came in the house all by himself (we usually have to haul him in kicking and screaming) and he started pointing his finger at things on the book we were reading.  We're so proud of him!  He's also doing much better at Sunday school.  The teachers say he doesn't fuss as much after we leave and that he's getting along well with the other kids.  This is pretty big, to us, seeing as Tyler never went to daycare and has never really had any playmates (til now).  Pretty soon we'll be hearing words :) .

Last bit...I ran about 1.35 miles in 10:33 tonight! :D If it wasn't for my side splint, I could've done 2 miles, but it was killing me.  My goal this weekend is to run two miles consecutively.  I had to stop twice when I ran on Sunday, but that's because I was still a bit on the sick side.  I'm mostly recovered now, though my throat is still getting very dry so I'm not over it yet.  

I hope everyone's had a great week!!