Haunted (Part 2)

"We suffer primarily not from our vices or our weaknesses, but from our illusions.  We are haunted, not by reality, but by those images we have put in their place."  

--Daniel J. Boorstin

When I was 6, my family moved into an old two-story house in the Wilson family's hometown of Ingalls.  It was a large house with a basement that expanded the length of the house underground.  The house had old books and trinkets left behind by the old couple that used to live there.  I found that much fascinating because they were things I could treasure.  What I couldn't truly treasure were the things I found in the basement (which included an antique film camera).  I was so afraid that ghosts lived in the shadows of that basement that, if I did venture down there, I only stayed in lit areas.  To this day, I'm still a bit frightened by the idea of having a ghost dwell in my living space.  I realized just last night, though, that a ghost (or rather a few ghosts) do dwell in my living space because I allow them.  My past is riddled with ghosts that I let haunt and torture me.  Most of them small enough to pass over, but a few that stand in my face and scream at me.  Yesterday, I decided to come face to face with one of these ghosts and shoot a shotgun shell full of salt at it (thank Supernatural for that one).  Though I know the ghost hasn't been completely vanquished, I know I did it a world of hurt.  I didn't do it on my own, though.  I know that God did the majority of the work and I am immensely thankful for that.  God has the ultimate authority over my ghosts and without Him, I'd be an absolute lost cause.  

Quick Update

For those of you that have been following my job hunting/finding progress, I'd like you to know that I decided to quit Lifetouch.  I hadn't truly started working there yet, but something keeps telling me that it wasn't the right choice.  I also feel like it will become more of a financial strain rather than a financial gain (I'd get paid to drive to and from the schools, but not to and from work, which is an additional 60 minutes total).  With that, I'm back on the market for another job.  I've got an interview with Sears on Saturday and I've been a bit more careful this time around in choosing which jobs are actually legit and which aren't.  Please pray that my interview with Sears goes well Saturday morning!

As for the job I'm actually working, it's going great!  I absolutely love my kids, even if they like to argue about not doing their homework.  For the first week, I was a floating tutor, which meant that I helped whoever needed it.  Recently, though, we had a staff member quit so I'm now tutoring 4th and 5th graders, which also happens to be the largest grade group (15 kids total).  It's been a real patience test, but I'm doing really well with it so far.  I think my 5 years of dealing with drunk 40-somethings acting like 12 year olds is paying off ;) .  

Tyler did two things today: he came in the house all by himself (we usually have to haul him in kicking and screaming) and he started pointing his finger at things on the book we were reading.  We're so proud of him!  He's also doing much better at Sunday school.  The teachers say he doesn't fuss as much after we leave and that he's getting along well with the other kids.  This is pretty big, to us, seeing as Tyler never went to daycare and has never really had any playmates (til now).  Pretty soon we'll be hearing words :) .

Last bit...I ran about 1.35 miles in 10:33 tonight! :D If it wasn't for my side splint, I could've done 2 miles, but it was killing me.  My goal this weekend is to run two miles consecutively.  I had to stop twice when I ran on Sunday, but that's because I was still a bit on the sick side.  I'm mostly recovered now, though my throat is still getting very dry so I'm not over it yet.  

I hope everyone's had a great week!!

Invasion (Part 1)

"The Holy Spirit led Jesus into the desert, so that the devil could test him."

--Matthew 4:1

One of my favorite authors is Frank Peretti.  He has this amazing gift of telling stories about sin and the influences of sin.  In most of his novels, the sin seems to be the person's (or people's) choice, but a few of his novels dive into the world of angels and demons and their influence on our thoughts/actions.  My question is simple (ha...right): how much do angels and demons really influence us?  After reading This Present Darkness and Piercing the Darkness, one would think that angels and demons have an incredible impact on our lives.  Is this true?  I'm not doubting that the unseen powers have tremendous influence.  In fact, I'm extremely fascinated by angels and demons and stories about them (thank Peretti and the TV show Supernatural for that).  I'm curious due to (1) a temptation that started in high school and (2) my battle with depression (these are my two biggest sins/problems).  Do Satan's captains have a hand in either of these things?  Do the Guard stand by and watch as the demons do their worst?  Do I have to make the conscious effort of fending off the demons before the angels, or God Himself, intervene?  I realize these questions will most likely never be answered on Earth, but these are questions I've had for a while and can't seem to get away from.  

After reading Matthew chapter 4, I've noticed a few things that partially answer a couple of the aforementioned questions:  

-Satan tempted Jesus a few times, telling me that Satan and his crew do have a good deal of influence among Earth.  I'm not saying that everything evil is/has been influenced by Satan, but that his influence is strong.  If that's the case, then I'd like to assume that the angels also have a strong influence in this world.  

-Satan can create and exploit temptation.  He doesn't do this all of the time (sometimes our temptations are our own doings), but he certainly has his hand in the cookie jar, so to speak.  

-Jesus fought off Satan with scripture and, ultimately, faith.  Jesus quoted several OT passages with the last, and most explosive, one being, "Worship the Lord your God and serve only him".  Matthew 4:11 then states that Satan left and the angels appeared at Jesus' side to help him.  This passage makes me believe that we indeed have to be the first to act against our sin and demons before God and his Guard will intervene.  

God won't abandon us in our time of need, but we must first recognize that we are in need.  

"I cannot live, I can't breathe unless you do this with me."

-Angels and Airwaves, The Adventure